David Chiu

Here’s the second essay from the autobiographical performance workshop:

It was 1996 and I had just arrived in LA to conquer Hollywood. I didn’t quite have the skills to become an actor/waiter so I found myself placed into the dot com dream. My past life as an adolescent computer geek had served me well. Within a month I was promoted to a Technical Director and was immediately empowered to lead the development of the next big project. That’s when my life changed.

At the first meeting for the project, I was lucky enough to be sitting across an incredibly attractive girl. She had strawberry blonde hair, big blue eyes, a beautiful smile, and a figure that made heads turn. She was incredibly hot and I couldn’t keep my eyes away from her. But deep inside, I knew that this was the kind of girl that would never go out with me. She was a fantasy girl. She was out of my league. She would ever remain unattainable, and her name was Heather.

The next day we had our first meeting. Just me and her, the Technical Director and Art Director, sitting in the Jamba Juice store downstairs talking about the project. I was incredibly nervous, but not because of any business reason. I was nervous because I was sitting and talking with my dream girl fantasizing that we were on a date. I couldn’t stop talking or smiling. Nothing I said probably made much sense and every moment I was very self conscious because I had braces on my teeth. I felt like a complete fish out of water talking to this incredibly attractive girl, but I never wanted our meeting to end.

My enthusiasm for working with this girl was so great that I had to brag about it to the guys I worked with. They too had been smitten by her looks and wanted to find out if she had a boyfriend. She did, of course. A beautiful girl like that is never single. But what did it matter to me anyway? It’s not like I really had a chance at being with her. What I wanted was the fantasy. I wanted to think that there was a 1 chance in a billion that I could be with her. A chance that we could be out on a date for just one evening before she realizes how “un-cool” I really am.

That’s when I made up my mind. I was in a new town, a new job and chasing after my Hollywood dreams. What did I have to lose? She was unattainable anyway, so why not just let it all out and have some fun?

So that’s what I did. The next time I spoke to her she had pulled me from a meeting to look at some of her designs. She made a comment to me about thanking her for rescuing me from another boring meeting.

At that moment, my heart started racing and my mind started spinning. I opened my mouth and a flirtatious innuendo flew from my lips.

“I would love to, but you have a boyfriend so I can’t.”

I couldn’t believe I said that. It was so unlike my previous, shy, self. I had admitted my attraction to her and now she would either be flattered or offended.

As fast as the words left my lips, she whipped her head around and gave me piercing stare.

“Just forget that I said that”, I responded as we walked to her desk.

That moment had set the tone for our working relationship. She was receptive and flattered by my remark and as the project progressed, so did my flirtatious comments and behavior. I started to realize that this girl was different from all the rest of the women I had ever met. She had a lot of spirit and spunk, and always had her own sassy responses. There were many times she threw me out of her office because of some outrageous playful innuendo I would make.

Our interactions occurred in both the physical and virtual world. Through the new world of instant messaging and ICQ I would say things to her that I would never say face to face.

This was a whole new image for me playing the role of the self-confident, playa. It was fun. It felt good. And everyone bought into my new image.

Our friendship continued to grow and I found myself fantasizing that I really had a chance. She was beautiful, intelligent, talented, and had such a great spirit. She was everything I ever wanted - but unavailable and too perfect to be with someone like me.

Then in one day, everything changed. A group of us had left the company for higher salaries in another company and we were all out at lunch. One of the guys turned to Her and asked about her boyfriend.

“We’re no longer together” she said.

Time stood still for a moment as my heart skipped a beat and the doors of opportunity clicked open. One of the other guys made a comment out loud of how I could now take her to dinner. Did I really have a chance? Everything I would now say to her from this moment on could actually lead to something, could actually mean something other than a fleeting fantasized moment.

Once again I made up my mind that I had nothing to lose. She was everything I had ever wanted, and now I would chase the dream of a real relationship with this beautiful girl.

But it would be difficult. I had spent a year building this playboy image which she thought was cute, but didn’t believe I could ever have a serious relationship with anybody. Especially her. So I spent the next year trying to shrug off this character and image I had created and tried to really show my true feelings and my true self.

Then one evening, she invited me out to dinner. It wasn’t a date, but for me, another opportunity to show this girl who I really was. So I talked. I talked a lot. I told her everything I could about myself, my past - anything that I could think of. All I could do was hope that I could change her mind about me.

Thanksgiving came around, and I was lucky enough to be invited by her to a thanksgiving dinner with her friends. Our fondness had grown for each other and I wanted to take a chance at starting a real relationship with her. I wanted us to be together. So that night after Thanksgiving dinner, while just the two of us were hanging out at her apartment, the moment appeared and I took it. I told her I wanted to kiss her.

Time stopped once again as my heart skipped a beat and she stared at me with her beautiful blue eyes.

“I’ve failed”, I told myself. I always knew I would. She’s out of your league. Just apologize and move on.

Then she kissed me. My fantasy became a reality. She became my world and we spent every moment together both at work and outside of work. We had a whirlwind romance and as we discovered each other, we fell in love. But every time our relationship got more serious, she would have second thoughts. She started our relationship by telling me she didn’t ever want to get married. So to convince her I proposed on three different occasions.

October 7, 2000 we were married in a glass church on a cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent two weeks on our Honeymoon in Tahiti. Now this fantasy girl is my beautiful wife and I love her more and more each day.