David Chiu

You will not believe this but today, ANOTHER homeless person approached us asking for money!!!

Actually, it was Heather who was approached by this guy while she was out in the yard. She called me and told me that this guy was dressed decently and started asking her about our house and if we needed someone to work on it. Then he told her that he was homeless - kicked out of his house because a divorce. He also said he’s just trying to eat. Heather told him that she didn’t have any money but to come back two hours later ’cause I would be home.

When Heather told me this I was pretty mad. Not because of her, but because I feel like we’ve become the local ATM in the ‘hood.

“Oh look. It’s a white girl and an Asian guy. They will give us some money for sure.”

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

When did we become the house for handouts - it’s like we’re giving out Halloween treats for homeless people 365 days a year. I’m tired of it. Heather suggested that we purchase McDonald gift certificates to give to homeless people who say they need money for food. I thought that was a pretty good idea but I still don’t want our house to be the place for handouts.

When I arrived home I got this idea that if this guy showed up again we would take his picture and post it on the Internet just in-case this guy decided to rob us. Well the guy came back. I needed to show that I wasn’t messing around. The guy came and knocked on our door. I put on my deepest voice and menacing looked and opened the door.

Me: “Can I help you.”

I cautiously walked out the door and looked this guy in the face. He looked friendly and was dressed in decent clothes. He definitely didn’t look homeless. As I talked to him I sized him up and asked him questions like “where’s your family” and “you are wearing some pretty nice clothes to be homeless”. The guy spun a sad tale of a foster childhood and being laid-off from his construction job and recently getting kicked out of his house because of a divorce. He said he wasn’t looking to bother anyone or cause trouble but just wanted to work to get back on his feet again. He acted very humble and very polite. I got the feeling that he might be telling the truth, so I decided to help him out. I told him that we have no work for him and that I am tired of people asking us for money. But I also told him that if he wasn’t lying that I feel for him and wanted to help him out so I gave him some money.

I’m not sure if I handled the situation correctly but my gut instinct says he was a decent guy down on his luck. Either that or he is a very good con man and is waiting to strike.

So I came up with a brilliant idea. Next time some person comes to my house begging for money I will pull a flaming dollar bill from my wallet with a menacing look on my face that says, “Don’t F*CK w/ me. I’m wierd, crazy and dangerous.”

Nothing like a little impromptu magic to scare the hell outta someone.