Published on Wednesday June 30, 2004 .
With two weeks left in the program, I am almost done with my training. Tom has said we are close to finishing our scene from “She Stoops to Conquer” but now we just need to have fun, relax and own our parts. Technically everything is in place with a few adjustments but he says that my performance still looks more like a “performance” and needs to be more relaxed, spontaneous and organic. I need to go back to my first year training of really listening and reacting to my partner.
As for the beta-blockers I have been taking for my excessive sweating/stage fright, it didn’t really work. Even though my scene is very physically demanding it does not justify the amount of sweat I’m having. I think I sweat more during this scene than I do when heavy lifting in the gym! So I think I need to address my relaxation on stage.
Today I tried the beta-blockers to see how it would effect me. I thought today would be a good test to see if they work because Heather and I had a meeting with a client today. In past meetings I have always started to sweat profusely for no apparent reason. Today was no exception. Even after using the beta-blockers I still started to sweat. As usual, I worked through it even though I felt like running out of the meeting. Immediately after the meeting I called the doctor to say the drugs weren’t working. He said to try upping the dosage slightly. Tomorrow I will definitely try that since I will be performing again.
I still can’t figure it out. I’ve been performing in front of people for most of my life. Yes, I still get nervous but nothing to sweat over. There have been many times that I have performed and have been completely fine. Then there are those times - like that Japanese car commercial I shot two years ago, that I sweat right through the wardrobe (although it was 95 degrees and I was dressed in a suit). This is something I definitely have to beat.
Today I got a prescription for beta-blockers from my doctor. It just so happens that I was due for a shot as well. Ouch! Now that I have medication to treat my stage-fright/excessive sweating, I wonder how it will affect my performance, or if it will help at all.
To be completely honest, I have self medicated with alcohol before acting class a couple times. Those two times that I did, I received rave reviews from my acting coaches. They said I had a very relaxed, connected and bold performance. Since I didn’t want to become a alcoholic, I stopped. I also do not want to become dependent on beta-blockers to have a good performance. This is just a temporary fix while I work on focus and relaxation.
Published on Saturday June 26, 2004 .
Today while driving around our ‘hood, we witnessed a lady peacefully riding her bike and smoking a joint. Then Heather pointed out an old restored arts and crafts house that was selling for 1.5mil.
Yes our neighborhood is very diverse.
One of the things I now need to confront in myself as an actor/performer is my stage fright/hyperhidrosis. In short, sometimes when I get anxious or nervous I sweat. Sometimes I sweat profusely. This is of course very embarassing and hindering as an actor. I have learned to work through it, but I know it is holding me back. I always feel bad for all of my female partners who have had to be very close to me in scenes where I am sweating. So now I am searching for ways to cure me of this problem: beta blockers, counseling, meditation, I don’t know which one will help the most but I ned to figure it out.
Published on Thursday June 24, 2004 .
This morning I had an audition for an independent film which shoots in Romania or Bulgaria. The part I read for was the antagonist of the movie - a cold-hearted crime-lord. My agent had pitched me to the casting director and I was emailed the entire script along with the sides and given an appointment time to read for the casting director. Unfortunately I did not start reading the script till 1am last night after acting class and training at the gym and I started falling asleep after page 10. I instead redirected my energy to breaking down the particular scene I was going to read with the casting director.
This morning I arrived at the casting studio on Sunset Blvd and noticed that I would be the first person the casting director would be seeing. I tried not to over analyze that fact and sat down in the lobby and studied the script instead. A couple minutes later the casting director came out and called my name. I followed her into a small screening room and took a deep breath. The casting director then explained that I could sit, stand or move around in the space. Then I started.
The reading went fairly well and the casting director said it was pretty good but then explained that I needed to be more menacing, deliver all my lines to her and pick up the pace. I took a breath and then started again.
When I finished, the casting director stood up and said “nice job” and “it was good to meet you” then I left. I walked out of the building wondering if she meant what she said. Was my reading decent? Did I have any chance of getting a callback?
We’ll see.
On Wed at class, I once again performed She Stoops to Conquer 4 times with two different partners. The performances went very well (other than me profusely sweating). Tom said that we could actually be finished with the scene next week! That would mean that we would be finishing our scene before anyone else in class!
BTW, class ends July 14th. We graduate July 15th. Two years of intense acting training completed.
Published on Wednesday June 23, 2004 .
So I picked up our ‘93 Ford Taurus from the shop yesterday after dropping a couple hundred dollars to fix a oil leak from a busted gasket on the engine. Then on the way home I noticed that the car seemed to be a lot louder thatn usual and also the car was shaking while on idle. THEN I noticed the “Check Engine” light come on.
DAMN.
So this morning I called AAA and had my car towed back to the auto shop. The guy at the shop said they would fix it for free (which is good) but it’s just a pain in the ass to have to deal with this. I had to cancel rehearsal this morning and now I have to figure out how to get to class tonight if my car isn’t fixed. I’m suppose to rehearse before class with my other partner as well, but I’m not sure that’s gonna happen. On top of all that I have been super busy at my day job and I have an audition for an independent film tomorrow. I’m also suppose to meet my trainer tonight at 12am.
Crazy huh?
Today I took my chewed up 4×5 proofs to my commercial agency. Only a couple are really bad. Hopefully my agent won’t make me re-develope the proofs again…
This is the lesson I’ve recently learned at the gym while working out with a trainer. For the past few months I’ve spent hours at the gym every week trying to get stronger, bigger and more cut. My results have been minimal. Now I’ve had four sessions with a trainer and went from benching 135lbs max on incline to 225lbs (as of tonight!). I’m also starting to see results after these two weeks of intense training. Now I kinda feel like I have wasted many hours at the gym getting nowhere. I should have got a trainer sooner…
I arrived an hour before my appointment time yesterday hoping to get in early and get out early. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen. When I arrived they were running auditions for a different Miller Lite commercial involving older men in suits. So I ended up waiting around till the next session started.
When they started the next session they said they needed polaroids of us individually in our beach gear (and shirtless). The girls also had to strip down to their bikinis. It felt awkward to strip down right there in the lobby but we all did it. When I got my picture I saw what I expected - I’m not ripped enough. Oh well, it’s an audition.
The casting director then announced that we all had to sign a NDA (a Non Disclosure Agreement). This was a first. I have never signed an NDA for an audition or acting job. I’ve signed plenty of NDA’s in the dot com world though. This made me think that this commercial was going to be something unique and special.
Well it isn’t.
Since I signed an NDA, I can’t tell you what the commercial is about (except that it involves beer). But I can tell you that it’s nothing special. It’s just another beer commercial that might be mildly funny.
