After three hours of rehearsal today and days of trying to do a Bronx accent for the play DOUBT, the culmination was me having a meltdown on stage with sweat dripping off my face. I tried to work past my anxiety but it was too late. I had to stop the scene. I felt like I had failed. I had spent two months working on self confidence and tonight served as a little test to see how much confidence I had gained. None. Although I did feel more confident just being myself on stage during my critique. The anxiety arose from several things: the fact I was trying a heavy Bronx accent which I knew needed a lot of work, the fact that I didn’t do all of the steps to prepare the scene like I have been taught in the two year program, the fact that my teacher from my second year taught tonight, the fact that the scene felt awkward from the moment I opened my mouth on stage. It all contributed to my self doubt and anxiety. As my wife told me tonight, I need to have the confidence and charm on-stage that I do when I go for job interviews. I don’t put much into job interviews since to me it’s “just a job” which I can easily get anywhere else. I’m relaxed, at ease, confident (on the verge of being cocky) and very sure of myself. I don’t worry what the interviewers think of me. That’s how I need to be on stage. Tom said tonight that people like Russel Crowe are stars because they ooze confidence. They believe in themselves and the characters they are playing and they don’t care what other people think. They just are. So I still need to learn to be onstage and just “be”.
1 CommentMonthly Archive for January, 2006
I think it’s so ironic that I was assigned scenes from the play “Doubt” to work on for class. I first started working on the pivotal scene between Father Flynn and Sister Aloysious a few months ago but then stopped going to class for financial reasons.
I’ll admit that I wasn’t all that excited on working on the play. The material made me a little uncomfortable and it would be a real stretch for me to play a priest in the 50’s with a Bronx accent. But that was the point - to stretch me artistically as an actor. So now it’s 2006 and my beautiful wife has signed me up for scene study class as part of my Christmas present. Yesterday I was told that Lisa (my acting coach) still wanted me to work on scenes from the play so I’ve now been paired up with a different actress to work on the scene between Father Flynn and Sister James. I was also told that Lisa wants to see the scene “on it’s feet” (memorized with blocking) this Sunday. A 5-page scene memorized, blocked and with accents prepared in 3 days - no pressure right? Luckily I found the Doubt website along with some video previews. I gained so much more insight on the play and the characters by just watching the 2 minute clip. It also really helped inform me of how the Bronx accent should sound.
So I have blocked off a couple hours on Sunday before class to rehearse with my new partner. This will be a good test to see how much more confidence I have gained as an actor after studying materials on self confidence.
0 CommentsI think it’s so ironic that I was assigned scenes from the play “Doubt” to work on for class. I first started working on the pivotal scene between Father Flynn and Sister Aloysious a few months ago but then stopped going to class for financial reasons.
I’ll admit that I wasn’t all that excited on working on the play. The material made me a little uncomfortable and it would be a real stretch for me to play a priest in the 50’s with a Bronx accent. But that was the point - to stretch me artistically as an actor. So now it’s 2006 and my beautiful wife has signed me up for scene study class as part of my Christmas present. Yesterday I was told that Lisa (my acting coach) still wanted me to work on scenes from the play so I’ve now been paired up with a different actress to work on the scene between Father Flynn and Sister James. I was also told that Lisa wants to see the scene “on it’s feet” (memorized with blocking) this Sunday. A 5-page scene memorized, blocked and with accents prepared in 3 days - no pressure right? Luckily I found the Doubt website along with some video previews. I gained so much more insight on the play and the characters by just watching the 2 minute clip. It also really helped inform me of how the Bronx accent should sound.
So I have blocked off a couple hours on Sunday before class to rehearse with my new partner. This will be a good test to see how much more confidence I have gained as an actor after studying materials on self confidence.
0 CommentsIt has been estimated that we have 50,000 thoughts a day. How many of yours are positive?
0 CommentsWoke up at 7am today, walked the dog for 20min, went to the gym, walked around the block for another 20min waiting for the gym to open, did 90lbs on the sled for 12/10/8/6 slow reps, jumped on the hack squat machine did 90lbs for 12/10/8/6 slow reps, put two 25lb plates on a bar and did 2 reps of 8 squats, then ended with a 10min walk around the block. Now I’m hurting.
I also continued my workbook from Tony Robbins site. I’m setting a lot of big goals for myself this year. Now I have to start by creating a ritual for success. My problem is that in the mornings I have a hard time getting up, so I’m going to try drinking coffee first thing to get my brain in motion and get my butt in the gym. I’m also going to really work on instilling confidence in myself.
My foot is off the starting block and I can feel the momentum. Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride, Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down.
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