David Chiu

In an effort for H and I to be more involved in our community, we have started attending the local block club meetings. The most interesting thing I found out tonight after the meeting - the mild manner older gentleman who heads up the meetings is an vietnam marine vet who owns two pit bulls, one for inside the house, the other to gaurd the yard, a border collie, a .44 and a shotgun. Our next door neighbor - a small elderly lady in her 70’s, says she sleeps with a .38 under her pillow.

Welcome to the ‘hood.

As I was walking from my car to the house last night I was witness to full blown pimp/ho fight happening down at the corner. How do I know? ‘Cause I heard the words “I’m the pimp, you’re the ho.” and “why you stealing money from me” and “I could kill you, so you better give me my money”.

Who needs reality TV?

Today while driving around our ‘hood, we witnessed a lady peacefully riding her bike and smoking a joint. Then Heather pointed out an old restored arts and crafts house that was selling for 1.5mil.

Yes our neighborhood is very diverse.

Tonight we were startled by a loud crash which made us rush to the window to see what was happening. At the intersection right outside our house were two cars with glass and metal parts scattered on the street. Heather quickly said, “call 911″ and I grabbed the phone as Heather went outside to see if anyone was hurt. When I got the 911 operator on the phone they asked me the standard questions and told me to ask the people involved in the accident if they needed an ambulence. I went outside to the scene of the wreck and saw that an older woman was sitting in her sedan with the driver’s side door smashed in. I asked if she needed an ambulence and she quickly replied no. I told the operator this and then they asked if anyone looked as if they were under the influence or if any city property had been damaged. I answered “no” to both questions and then the operator said that the accident victims need to just exchange information. I asked, “aren’t you going to send the cops?” She replied, “if someone is hurt and needs an ambulence then we’ll send one. If city property has been damaged or if someone is under the influence then we’ll send the cops.”

Honestly, this surprises me. Is this the new operating procedure for LAPD or does the LAPD not come to the “‘hood” unless someone is dead?

Half the neighborhood was outside seeing if everyone was alright. Luckily everyone walked away from the accident with no serious injuries. The older woman’s car was pretty banged up. The driver’s side door was smashed in and could not be opened. The rear of her car had also slammed into the street light after she was hit. Surprisingly, her car could still be driven.

One of the neighbors volunteered to drive the older lady home (which was just down the street) but asked her son to come with her. She said she didn’t want to walk back by herself because it wasn’t safe. Her son said she needed a gun. She said a lot of her friends had told her she needed a gun because she works down the street at a salon and walks back by herself at night. This worried me a little. I don’t feel our neighborhood is all that unsafe but a lot of the older neighbors always tell us to watch our back and talk about getting robbed and tell us we need to be careful who we talk to on the street. It’s pretty interesting because according to the LAPD statistics our neighborhood actually has less crime than our old neighborhood with $800k houses. Well we love our house and don’t regret living in the ‘hood. More and more people are moving into the neighborhood and fixing up the houses anyway so the area is getting better.

You will not believe this but today, ANOTHER homeless person approached us asking for money!!!

Actually, it was Heather who was approached by this guy while she was out in the yard. She called me and told me that this guy was dressed decently and started asking her about our house and if we needed someone to work on it. Then he told her that he was homeless - kicked out of his house because a divorce. He also said he’s just trying to eat. Heather told him that she didn’t have any money but to come back two hours later ’cause I would be home.

When Heather told me this I was pretty mad. Not because of her, but because I feel like we’ve become the local ATM in the ‘hood.

“Oh look. It’s a white girl and an Asian guy. They will give us some money for sure.”

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

When did we become the house for handouts - it’s like we’re giving out Halloween treats for homeless people 365 days a year. I’m tired of it. Heather suggested that we purchase McDonald gift certificates to give to homeless people who say they need money for food. I thought that was a pretty good idea but I still don’t want our house to be the place for handouts.

When I arrived home I got this idea that if this guy showed up again we would take his picture and post it on the Internet just in-case this guy decided to rob us. Well the guy came back. I needed to show that I wasn’t messing around. The guy came and knocked on our door. I put on my deepest voice and menacing looked and opened the door.

Me: “Can I help you.”

I cautiously walked out the door and looked this guy in the face. He looked friendly and was dressed in decent clothes. He definitely didn’t look homeless. As I talked to him I sized him up and asked him questions like “where’s your family” and “you are wearing some pretty nice clothes to be homeless”. The guy spun a sad tale of a foster childhood and being laid-off from his construction job and recently getting kicked out of his house because of a divorce. He said he wasn’t looking to bother anyone or cause trouble but just wanted to work to get back on his feet again. He acted very humble and very polite. I got the feeling that he might be telling the truth, so I decided to help him out. I told him that we have no work for him and that I am tired of people asking us for money. But I also told him that if he wasn’t lying that I feel for him and wanted to help him out so I gave him some money.

I’m not sure if I handled the situation correctly but my gut instinct says he was a decent guy down on his luck. Either that or he is a very good con man and is waiting to strike.

So I came up with a brilliant idea. Next time some person comes to my house begging for money I will pull a flaming dollar bill from my wallet with a menacing look on my face that says, “Don’t F*CK w/ me. I’m wierd, crazy and dangerous.”

Nothing like a little impromptu magic to scare the hell outta someone.